Eric hated it whenever he missed the M17 to campus. Not only did he have to walk another 15 minutes to get to the M46, but it made him another half hour late to school which meant no sitting next to Hot Chick McGee in College Algebra. He wasn’t even interested in dating her; she was dumb as a stump and she smelled like the feminine product aisle in a dank-ass grocery store. Eric just wanted her to catch him “peeking at her test” and then hopefully spring off into an argument. Bimbo sorostitiutes were so fucking funny whenever they tried to defend themselves and act smart about it.

But of course, that fucking loser Ryan Felten with the highlights and ripped chest scored the seat instead. They were already chatting it up like the flirtatious shitfaces they were. As a congratulatory gesture, Eric tripped over the skank’s chair on his way in, causing her to spill coffee all over Felten’s laptop bag.

Now things were starting to look up! He couldn’t wait to brag about it to Kenny when he got back to their flat. Eric loved sharing his day to his best friend when the poor asshole wasn’t smoking weed or jacking off to his mom from his old home movie collection. If it was up to him, Eric would have burned all those videos by now, but he lost them to a bet; like anyone knew you could actually die from ingesting too much antacid tablets. Whatever, it was still fun to watch Kenny’s stomach explode.

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